How A Japanese Man Drives Me Crazy!

A small drawing. (Dok. Pribadi)
Even hell's supposed to know since at first I walked through the door, this would be somewhere I might very fond of or loathe. But, only by knowing it, that won't close the case at all. As you guys must be ever experienced this kind of circumstance, the matter is actually how we deal with our own problems that sometimes coming out of nowhere. Suffocate us when all we want to do is just breathe.

Before you start grumbling that I'm a spoiled brat who just knows whining, let me ask you this: "What the hell are you doing in my blog judging me while I totally have full rights to pour out anything I want here?"

Well, not really full. But, here we go.

This person who has name I even couldn't write down to a sheet of paper, closely like someone I love. He always wanna do things in different way. Mostly, he surely does everything by himself and even put a high standard for people's work. Clearly complicated. I admit that his perseverance amazed me. Until he surprisingly told me, "You relax for five days." What? Uhm, hello, who are you? How come you know me so well, dude?

On that night, I turned into a mad dog. Perhaps because I was on my period, I didn't really get it and didn't wanna get it since he often avoid hearing any reasons for all mistakes. But, I am not that RELAX for five days. Thanks to a few people in five days I work with, I cursed a lot in my green book. This is not an alibi, baby. This is a statement.

I am selfish? Come on, no kidding! Everybody's selfish and struggling a matter we know nothing about in the same time. Just because you don't see someone's poetry, doesn't mean he/she is alright.

I hate this.

I hate to be upset.

I hate to...

I hate to tell this lunatic truth. 

I hate myself.

I hate you, but I hate myself more.

And I love it.

I love this feeling.

I love listening to Sous les draps
and others Pierre van Dormael's masterpiece
while reflecting upon myself
and wondering about what he might think of.

Oh, miel, I love to tell you this...

I love realizing that I need to love myself.

So I can love you, people, 
everything that might hurt me.

However, I'm grateful to him by opening some doors for me. This working helps me to get to know the stuff I was dreaming on. And the last, I could see someone on him.

sejatinya, tulisan ini lahir dari serangkaian kata
sungguh tiada lebih menarik dari kata selain untuk dipermainkan
biarlah aku bermain, hidup dan hilang tersesat dalam labirin kata yang senantiasa temaniku tumbuh hingga jelma pengadaan nan sedemikian rupa